One akita, two akitas…

It’s absolutely freezing outside. So cold that the snow has become dusty. It doesn’t stick to anything. So cold that when I walk outside, it feels like there’s no air. My lungs suck in and all they get is…a freezing nothing. It’s so cold that when I open the car door, the ominous creak I hear is the plastic bits warning me they’re not doing so well and, any time now, they’re going to snap in two.

In this weather, my hubby and I fear leaving our akita outside for longer than half an hour. I know, I know. She’s designed for winter, she loves the snow and she comes from the snowy mountains of Japan. Call it  projecting or good sense, but we just can’t leave her out for too long in this weather.

Whatever the reason, the unfortunate result is that Ms. Fuzzy Tail is in the house more and, since there’s nothing to do, she’s full of beans.

To get rid of those beans, she chases her turkey doll or her tail, she digs at Groucho the tree, dashes up and down the stairs, she digs into the boots drying by the entrance and begs for cheese. We accept those outbursts of energy that rearrange our furniture and rob Groucho of a few more leaves. We figure she’s doing her best to exercise. She certainly can’t use the elliptical. (I’d have a fit).

Still, there’s a limit.

Yesterday, at around 11pm, Ocean decided to jump on my bed because she thought I’d love to just go from deep sleep to fully awake in under a second. I woke in sheer terror until I saw her confused, brown eyes. Why was I upset? Didn’t I see that she was bored?

After I decided that a heart attack wasn’t imminent, I gave her some kisses while explaining to her firmly that there was to be no more jumping on any bed. She licked me and completely ignored everything I said or did except for the petting. Sigh. Why doesn’t she jump on my husband?, I thought.

I posed the question to my lovely man and he thought it through with that therapist head of his. “She needs a brother,” he replied with a whimsical smile.

Oh poop.