Sunday Funnies

Why dog groomers aren’t paid enough.

Today being Father’s Day, instead of resting, my hubby woke me up (at 7am no less) because we had an appointment to wash the dogs. At that hour of the morning, the only thing I can think of coherently is coffee. Anything else doesn’t even register. Incredibly, I woke up (without coffee) and, even more amazingly, I went with him, to wash our two mutts.

Washing two dogs is a two person job. (Well, ideally it would be a 20 person job but we only had two, so we made do.) We went to the kennel of a lady (Sammy) who lives really close to us and loves her job (she’s nuts). She sets you up with a tub and special hoses and then leaves you (maybe not that nuts). She has a special pump that throws sudsy water at the dogs and gets under that thick fur.

Part one, you clip the chosen dog’s collar to a holder on the wall (or the dog will be gone faster than you can say bye) and then water down the dog. While the hose hurls the soapy water at the mutt, you try and rub it in while the other person keeps the dog calm. This goes on for a bit or until the dog decides enough is enough and shakes his/her fur. Onto part two!

Part two is the rinse. Same hose, same idea, but clear water and off we go. By then both hubby and I were soaked from head to shoes.

Part three! The drying process. Sammy has this pump that now blows air through a hose and it comes out with so much strength it actually dries and shakes off dead, dog hair in one swoop. The problem is that dry dog hair fluffs (if it’s from long-haired dogs) and it goes floating into the air looking for a wet surface to adhere to…did I mention my hubby and I were soaked? Well, guess where that hair goes. To us. It stuck to hubby’s head, my face, his face, our hands, our clothes, everywhere.

 

Note to self: You have to close your eyes when you blow that hose because those dog hairs will also stick to your eyeballs and they are so soft, you’ll never ever get them out…especially with your fingers which have even more dog hairs!

Done, you think? Nope. Time for the second dog!! We did the entire process twice and emerged a complete mess. The dogs were clean, shiny white and dry. Hubby and I were soaked, matted with dirty dog hair and grumpy from our coffee-less state. We even had Ocean poop while we were dealing with River, to add to the fun of the entire experience.

Now we’re home and the dogs have shredded their baby pool in thanks for our excellent care….and then proceeded to dig up more spots on the yard and cover their newly washed fur with dirt.

Evidence

A very clean Ocean

Very clean–and grumpy–River

Next pets we have are going to be penguins.