I might be a little jaded

I have a feeling this hope-inducing retreat might have backfired. Certainly everyone there was incredibly positive. Almost to the point of being a little eerie. When asked how they were doing, they weren’t okay, they were super!! And they didn’t smile, they grinned from ear to ear until I could see all their molars.

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Still, there were hopeful signs. We had a Father Jim, who showed up dressed in something I wouldn’t give a beggar, who told us to avoid confessing our sins. Someone else staged a posse to get drunk the one night we were there. And, the last day, while I was trying my best to focus on yet another speech, I saw at least five people texting on their phones.

If I had any left over stars and unrealistic expectations from my retreat, one day back at work efficiently destroyed any of them. The public I work with managed their worst behaviour yet by shouting, throwing things and basically acting like monkeys. They didn’t throw faeces around but the week’s not over yet. There’s always today.

So I signed up to go to next year’s retreat.

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It’s so good to be home!

I’m such a home body. It’s something that’s never been as clear to me as during this one day away from home. I missed my home terribly. I missed my dogs, my hubby and the lovely conveniences of having TV, internet and a phone.

This retreat was like entering a different time period. The entire building was massive, set in a place among 150 acres of forest with lakes and trails that were beautiful if you’re a squirrel and want to leg it.

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The place was as quiet as a tomb and incredibly laberinth-like. There were stairs and twisted corridors everywhere. No matter which you took, it turned and ended up in a different area of the building. I got lost more times than I can count.

The rooms were microscopic…and filled with dead flies. The staff was just as minuscule consisting only of about 4 people. They did everything from cooking to welcoming us to telling us the rules of the place. No outside shoes. Everyone had to go around in slippers.

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The food was great…except for the coffee cups. They were the size of thimbles and I just about had it. In an act of unparalleled rebellion, I seized one of their cereal bowls and used it for coffee. People stared…but I couldn’t have cared less. In the mornings, I need coffee.

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We did a lot of ‘circles’ where we sat and listened to our ‘leaders’ tell us how to work better. I tried to be a good listener and appreciate what they were saying but it was hard and, with each passing hour, it got harder. By the second day, I wasn’t the only one dissociating. I counted 7 heads nodding while the last speaker rambled on.

The group leader only had to say that it was time to go before I was gone. I was the first out of the building and the first car out of the lot. I came home relishing loud music on the radio, shouting it out as I drove.

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My doggies were thrilled to see me and my hubby even had flowers waiting.

dog-puppy-labrador-retriever-flowers-rosesIt’s so nice to be home!

What have I missed? What are you guys up to?