We lost River about a month and a bit ago. I didn’t post about it because, at first, it was simply too painful. Then, I didn’t want to post because this blog is about positive things. Now, finally, I think I have turned a corner.
And it’s all thanks to Ocean.
I came home from the vets that day, wrung out and still crying. Saying goodbye to River was awful, just god-awful. It tore my heart into pieces and I cried inconsolably for hours at the vets. I couldn’t see past my pain.
I opened the back door to let Ocean in mentally preparing myself for her reaction to the loss.
Ocean bounced into the house like a spring lamb. She bounced as if she had springs on her feet. She pounced on her toy and proceeded to throw it in the air, bouncing around the furniture with sheer joy.
I couldn’t believe it. Didn’t she miss her brother? Where was her sadness at this terrible situation? Didn’t she care?
Ocean cares. There is no doubt in her soft eyes or her gentle acts towards us that she loves us completely and unconditionally. She adores us and she loved River. But she also lives in the present, not the past. And that was something I had to learn from her.
They say it takes a year for a house to become a home. I had never heard that before we moved to our present house but it certainly didn’t feel like home when we walked in. As time passed and I walked around the place expecting the old owners to come in and kick us out, I wondered just how true that saying was.
Our previous house was a tiny, cozy thing, just right for two people. By contrast, this house is big and poky, with doors, hallways and stairs everywhere. When I first saw it, I thought it’d be the perfect house for witches to live in–if they used a gas fireplace and needed air conditioning.
I was working from home when something flashed by and I glanced out the window and there was River, outside the fence, striding among the flowers, having a wonderful time.
We’d like to think we’re responsible dog owners. When we moved in, we installed a six-foot fence along the perimeter of half the back of our house. We also put metal bars at the bottoms and tops of the fence and tied the fence to the bars with zip ties so that they could not dig their way out or bend the fence.
Six feet. With bars.
Well, they found a way.
I ran out with leashes in hand and found River pretty quickly. He had probably started to wonder where his next meal was going to come from and was heading home. Ocean was a blur in the distance. I called her, she wagged her tail happily and took off.
Cursing that it was me and not my husband who had found the dogs, I put River inside the house and ran back out towards Ocean. She wasn’t thinking about her next meal, Ocean loves nothing more than to run and she was doing just that.
I shudder to think what out poor neighbours must think as they see these two escape artists legging it around. Big fence but pretty useless. Don’t those people check on their dogs? We should call the pound, the dogs don’t even come when she calls them.
I have managed to get both hounds back. They are delighted with this morning’s activities and don’t show an ounce of shame between the pair of them. They can’t wait to see what’s in store for this afternoon. I, on the other hand, am exhausted.
It happened yesterday, just before supper. Ocean, our akita girl, wasn’t acting right. I thought maybe she was feeling sad or off and I started giving her kisses and petting her. That’s when I noticed how tight and bloated her stomach was.
And she was trembling.
Now, most people wouldn’t panic but I panic at the drop of a hat. Watching Ocean shift restlessly in what I now recognized as pain, made me want to call an ambulance over. Instead, I called my hubby and two minutes later, we were in the car on the way to the nearest emergency vet.
We got there with a dog that was quickly deteriorating. Thankfully, they saw her right away. Ocean was inside the clinic for a minute before the vet called us (we weren’t allowed inside–I asked) and told us the diagnosis: A twisted stomach. Either Ocean got an immediate operation or she would die.
We had to wait hours for the results of the operation but I’ll tell you right away. Ocean survived and is recovering. She’s still at the vet hospital because until she can eat solid food again and take her medicines by mouth and not an IV, she can’t leave. We are at home, relieved and looking at River with sharp eyes. If he so much as yawns too widely, I worry.
I don’t want to jinx our situation and celebrate too early her recovery but I did speak to the vet this morning and she said Ocean was doing much better. We’ll know better by the end of the day because complications can still happen but the nightmare of yesterday is over.
I know Ocean is only a dog, and I know she’s going to die but yesterday, while we were driving to the vet and she was shaking with pain, I was beside myself. And she would try to lean against my side to try and console me. It’s things like that that make me think: humans could learn so much from our doggies.
We have morning kisses in our house. They don’t actually involve my husband and I. They involve…well, our doggies.
It started innocently enough, with me giving our two pooches kisses after they ate their breakfast. I was just hugging and petting them because they’re simply adorable and so loving that I couldn’t hold back the kisses.
Soon, though, it turned into something bigger. Ocean started ignoring her breakfast until she had received her ‘quota’ of kisses. And now, her bowl of food doesn’t have the attraction my smile and hands do. Her ears flatten sideways, her tail waves like crazy and she wiggles her entire body dancing her way towards me; thrilled at the prospect of those kisses.
It’s a mutual thing. I believe there is something therapeutic in seeing a little creature closing her eyes with bliss while I kiss her forehead and ask her how her night was. I whisper softly into her ears and tell her I love her and that she’s going to have a lovely day and I believe I get more out of it than she does.
My hubby, the therapist explained to me that witnessing something horrific is traumatic for those who see it. I believe the opposite is therapeutic. It certainly feels like it. When I kiss River’s flat, soft head and tell him that there is a sunny-filled day waiting for him outside and he closes his eyes and sighs, I can feel a part of me heal.
River is our male akita…we have two of them. He’s larger than Ocean (our female), more easy going and definitely fluffier. We often say Ocean looks like a wolf while River looks like a bear. His fur is so thick, you can’t see his neck.
But lately River has been having fur troubles. He was losing it in areas and it was oddly greasy in others. Worse, he’s itchy. All the time.
This isn’t new. River has had fur troubles for a while. And he’s always been itchy. We’ve gone to vets about it, changed food, washed him all to no avail. Finally, one vet suggested testing him for allergies and Seborrhea dermatitis.
That’s when we found out that River has both Seborrhea and allergies. Severe allergies. In fact, he’s allergic to…well, to everything.
The treatment the vet suggested was overwhelming. We would have to get a serum made for him specially on a monthly basis. We would have to put him on special diet made of nothing but soy (the only protein he’s not allergic to). He’d have to take special anti-itch pills and go to the groomers on a regular basis to bathe in special anti-seborrhoea shampoo.
It had taken us quite a bit of money to find out what River had. The treatment the vet suggested was…well, it was expensive. Really expensive. The alternative was…well, saying goodbye.
When I heard about it, I cried and then tried to think what would be the best answer for my dog. Hubby had a fit. He cursed, threw his fist in the air and got on the phone. After a long conversation he finally got the vet to agree to an alternative solution. Steroids.
So, now River is on steroids. It’s not a perfect solution and we know that. But we’re not saying goodbye and we’re not selling our house to keep him alive. It’s a compromise.
I really hope he knows just how much we love him. I also hope that what little time we have left with him helps us be able to say goodbye when that time comes. Still, it’s pretty sucky news and that’s why I’ve hesitated about posting this. My humble little blog is supposed to be cheerful and positive.
It so happens that we have a house with a pool. We’ve never had one before and had no idea what to expect. An odd thing happens when you have a pool. Suddenly, people come over; and, more often than not, they bring their little ones in tow.
When we lived in the country, we had few visitors and even less little children over. Now, we’re suddenly the destination of parents. By the horde.
Adults like the pool but it doesn’t have the attraction for them that it has for children. And, if the children are poor swimmers or just out of babyhood, their passion for the watery domain knows no bounds. This is where I get worried.
I don’t know if it’s because I was once a lifeguard or because I tend to worry, but something happens to me when l see little kids kicking underwater and only the top of their head showing. I need to haul them out or give them a flotation device or jump in and stand beside them. I need to know they are safe. And breathing air.
Overall, none of the parents we’ve had share my concern. They simply trust that their offspring will emerge from under the water and take their next breath; some go so far as to turn on their cells and tune the entire scenario out. I can’t do that. In fact, their easy-going attitude freaks me out.
I wish I had a trusty Newfoundlander by my side who would happily splash into the pool and save the soggy, struggling swimmers. But I don’t. What I have are two fluffy akitas who have no idea how to swim or interest in the pool.
My husband heard from a friend about the benefits of feeding your dogs raw food. Now, while I am skeptical and don’t like change, my hubby embraces it. It didn’t take a lot for said hubby to decide that we were failing our dogs in the food department and that change was needed as soon as possible.
Now, you don’t just give your dog raw food or mix it in with kibble; there’s a process. First, you have your dog fast for about 8 to 12 hours to have all the cooked kibble leave their system. Then you have to figure out how much raw food to feed them; that involves a special calculator that’s online. Then, you need a fancy a scale to weigh the appropriate amount. Finally, there’s a lot of careful washing of utensils, bowls and counters afterwards because raw dog food sometimes comes with things like e-coli and other things that don’t hurt our doggie friends but certainly aren’t welcomed guests for humans or their digestive systems.
River sniffed the new concoction for about half a second and dove right in. Ocean, on the other hand, took one look at the stuff and turned her nose at it.
But we were ready for her pickiness. The raw-food dealer had talked to us about this. “If they don’t go for it at first, just grill it a bit,” she had assured us. “They’ll love it.”
So, we started cooking.
The stench this raw food produced when heated defies description. It was an acrid, horrific stink that seemed to go straight into my throat and stay there. I shoved the stir spoon at my hubby and ran for the washroom.
Later, after the windows were opened, fans were left on and we had febrezed the house from top to bottom, we placed a new offering in front of Ocean.
Her dogginess gave the stinking mess a remarkably human-like disgusted look before leaving the kitchen. River perked up, ready to inhale whatever was not nailed to the ground.
Through the remaining waves of stink, I saw my hubby’s crestfallen expression and tried to help him. Ocean has always been his dog and he took this rejection hard. “She’s might not be hungry,” I tried. “Let’s try her tomorrow.”
When Ocean refused her breakfast the next day and started acting lethargic, we decided enough was enough. Out came the computers and we were off to try and find a new food for our delicate girl. Next thing I knew, we had two large bags of special kibble for picky eaters.
So, tonight, River enjoyed his raw food meal while Ocean had a plate of special kibble picked just for her.
Not so long ago, our air conditioner decided to stop working. It was an ancient machine that had seen many seasons so it’s demise wasn’t unexpected. Of course, our luck being what it was, this happened at the worst possible time.
It was the day that the painters were here to paint; the day that the contractor was here to figure out how to pave our driveway and the day that Mother Nature decided to give us a massive heat wave.
It was burning hot outside and it was sweltering inside.Of course, I did what I do in situations like this and panicked. I called every air-conditioning business in town. Within minutes, everyone in the vicinity had heard about our furnace-like house and there was a guy on the way with the largest air-conditioner available for human use.
He sweated his way up the driveway laughing at the heat and removed a step on our wooden stairway to access our old machine and remove it. While he was busy working and our painters were sweating their way through the job, I moved our dogs out to the shade to keep them a little cooler than inside the oven-like house.
And that’s when it happened.
I knew there was a step missing on those stairs. I knew it. Yet I stepped on the missing step as though I could walk on air…and fell down like a sack of potatoes. The paint was horrific, the blood was awful and the bruising that ensued covers one complete leg and the other hip and stops people metres away. Still, I could have broken a bone or gotten impaled; I got off lucky.
It was at that exact moment that our two fluff-balls of dogs discovered I had yet to close the gate to the backyard and off they went. Curly tails into the wind, they ran away, delighted at their newly-found freedom.
I should have stopped and given them a chance to figure out where their next meal was coming from, but never let it be said that I miss an opportunity to panic. Off I went, blood running down a leg, limping like an injured flamingo, running after them.
Don’t worry, gentle reader, the dogs are back unharmed. As soon as the air conditioner started working, they reappeared to lay down on the air vents. I gave them a serious talking to that went mostly in one ear and out the other. Filthy, tired and hot, they still looked much better than their bruised, sore owner.
Today was such a sunny, lovely day that I decided to take a little walk with my two favourite doggies. Armed with a hat for my head, doggie bags for the unmentionables and a smile for the neighbours, we took off. We usually head downtown and back but the day was so nice that I decided to take a different route and head to the water.
Getting to the water was not difficult. It’s a massive lake that seems to take over the horizon. The harder part was figuring out our way back. None of the streets looked familiar. Still, I had a sense of where our house should be and off we went.
A few wrong turns and several doggie bags later, we got home. I didn’t think it was an excessively long walk. My dogs, however, had a different view point.
Did we just hike to the other side of Canada?
Who put her in charge of directions?
Needless to say, these two are not long-distance runners.