10 things you should know before you get a dog

10. Dog size doesn’t matter, they will rule the home. One look at those sad eyes and you’ll be toast.

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9. There are many types of aides to stop a dog from pulling when they walk on a leash. Unless you get a stuffed dog, you’ll get to know them all. By name.

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8. Fences are not fail-proof. Dogs can dig or climb their way out of that safe environment you’ve carefully created for them. Mine climbed their 5-foot fence like a possessed squirrel on steroids.

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7. If you don’t have a vet…you will. We know ours by first name.

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6. Guard dogs will ‘protect’ you from intruders… and from the post delivery person and from an elderly lady who’s walking by on her walker and from a snowflake and…

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5. Dogs snore. They also burp and do other things that are disturbingly human. This is particularly true if you have company.

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4. Not all dogs chew shoes. Ours love plants. Especially those accessible on the ground. Don’t get me started on Christmas trees–Lobo peed on ours.

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3. Dog drool is an incredible substance. Wet, it has the lubricating power of grease. Dry, it will adhere to any surface better than Crazy Glue. And yes, it can and will go on walls. When we owned bullmastifs, we saw some on the ceiling.

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2. Keeping a dog clean is an exercise in futility. Aim for semi-clean and embrace acceptance.

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1. Doesn’t matter what type of amazing, holistic, nutritious dog food you give your dog, they’ll want what you’re eating.

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For all the trouble they cause, there’s nothing that will bring on a smile quicker than one look at those loving brown eyes.

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