Rant: My life is not like the movies

I was thinking that exact thought as I heaved a pile of laundry from the dryer and tried to walk to the bedroom without tripping over dogs.

Reality never seems to intrude into the movies. If there’s a heroine or hero doing laundry (something I’ve very seldom seen), she or he has a humble set of three perfect towels, neatly arranged and puts them into the closet with ease…usually while engaged in interesting conversation.

When I wash towels, I do all the towels. That means the emerging pile defies gravity just by standing and will usually tilt like the Tower of Pisa. If, by some miracle, I manage to make it to the linen closet without it falling, there’s no empty, clear spot waiting for them inside.

(credit:properhunt.com)

(credit:properhunt.com)

My husband tends to grab and pull whatever he needs from the depths of the closet, so any attempts at folding and piling only last until he arrives. And there’s no invigorating conversation going on. The only words in the air are my own. Explaining things to the dogs.

By the way, that picture up there is my definition of heaven. Isn’t it just beautiful? And on the complete opposite spectrum from my reality.

In the movies people seldom do laundry or cook or even shower. I just watched the Bourne Supremacy and Matt Damon literally didn’t eat or sleep once in the entire movie, let alone do laundry.

And in the movies people walk into work from their cars during a sunny morning, holding a light briefcase and a steaming cup of coffee.

(credit:huffingtonpost.ca)

(credit:huffingtonpost.ca)

Thanks to living in Canada, I crawl to my place of employment while it’s both dark and freezing. Forget keeping my hair well coiffed, to keep hypothermia away, I slam a hat over it and end up with the very unflattering hat-head. Instead of a briefcase, I carry a backpack, many bags with treats (I work with the public), boxes with other supplies, my leaky water bottle, binders of information and my keys…usually held between my teeth.

(credit:aquadoc.typepad.com)

(credit:aquadoc.typepad.com)

I don’t dress like professionals on TV. They wear pristine suits that match and compliment their physique. If I don’t clash too badly, it’s a wardrobe success. My work demands physical movement and there’s no way I can do that in a restrictive suit. Besides, most of my clothes end up covered with a healthy layer of dog hair. And those high heels are a thing to admire from afar but a true instrument of torture if worn daily.

(credit:pinterest.com)

(credit:pinterest.com)

Still, a day doesn’t go by that I don’t laugh at work. Matt Damon didn’t crack a smile the entire movie.

(credit: idiosyncrazies.wordpress.com)

(credit: idiosyncrazies.wordpress.com)

 

7 thoughts on “Rant: My life is not like the movies

  1. “By the way, that picture up there is my definition of heaven. Isn’t it just beautiful? And on the complete opposite spectrum from my reality.” Love your humour and pictures, Taylor! A beautiful real life 🙂

  2. I can sympathize with the laundry. I have two loads of towels to finish and four loads of clothes to fold! My cat isn’t much help with that. She just yawns and rolls over, much like my husband! Like a good movie, I have an awesome soundtrack. And sometimes that makes all the difference in the world!

  3. Pingback: The Week’s End // A Round-up of All Sorts of Interesting Stuff | ZEN AND Π

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