Wasp Attack

Yesterday, we found a wasps nest in our yard…well, my hubby did by mowing over it.

(credit: istockphoto.com)

(credit: istockphoto.com)

The insects didn’t like him dropping by uninvited. He got bitten around 6 times (12 if you ask him) and ran faster than I’ve ever seen him into the house. Problem was, so did the wasps. They were inside the house by the time I got there and it was a little comical to see the big man swatting at those tiny insects with his socks.

I got the fly swatter and ended their miserable little lives while he ran into the shower (apparently he heard that was the thing to do if you have insects crawling on you). Our dogs, protective creatures that they are, simply watched the new game we had devised for them with confused little brown eyes. In the end, my hubby lay exhausted while I applied anti-itch cream to his many stings. (I’m telling you only 6 though he swears it’s at least 20).

Unfortunately, the danger wasn’t over. We had to get rid of the nest because the four ‘killer wasps’ we had decimated were but a fraction of the rest that lay, waiting, scheming their next attack. The nest was still there, waiting for us to try and cut the grass, on the ground buzzing with its inhabitants.

Getting rid of it wasn’t easy. They make these sprays that guarantee their demise but you have to go within an arm’s length of the nest, then spray a foam-like mess into their home and stick the nozzle of the spray deep into the foam-covered entrance and spray the inside of the nest. In theory, this may work but the reality is a far cry from those four steps they describe in the instructions.

No human being wants to be close enough to spray a nest of swarming wasps. It simply goes against our sense of self-preservation. They provide a handy straw that you attach to the nozzle so you can stand further away…about two centimetres away. Two centimetres! There’s a weight off my mind! Finally, they recommend doing it at night. As in, when you can’t see them.

My idea of getting rid of a wasp’s nest is to have some one else do it while I watch safely from inside the house. It’s a much safer idea and it works really well. Unfortunately, my hubby the therapist had already been bitten by another nest last year…and he thought my plan sucked.

After much debate, we headed out together both armed with cans of spray. I was slightly behind him, with my spray at the ready, aimed vaguely around. I was supposed to be his back-up. If anything flew or wondered close to him, I was to spray it to death without compassion be it wasp or eagle.

Therapist-hubby was pretty determined to kill the things so he never wavered. He had the foamy spray and covered the nest completely. The issue was me. I was so wired up for anything and everything that when he shouted: now! I started to spray everything around me. That probably included some insect or other, but mostly I sprayed my husband, me, the grass and his glasses. Blinded, my lovely hubby tried to saturate the nest, while telling me to stop spraying him but I was beyond recognition of petty words at that point and I only heard shouts of panic. I sprayed some more.

We ran back to the house completely covered in poison to meet the dogs. Delighted to see us, they tried to lick us to death.

The good news is the nest only needed one more attack from us to be completely wasp-free and we now have a fake wasp’s nest to discourage other wasps from settling in our yard. So, it’s all good. Really.

The bad news is we still have to mow the lawn.

11 thoughts on “Wasp Attack

  1. Although I laughed my ass of reading your post (love the Johnny Depp giff – that is so me), part of me was curling into a ball with every word. It’s my worst nightmare. I have a huge phobia of wasps! I’m glad you got rid of them 😀

  2. We get a lot of wasps here in Oz and yes you are supposed to do it at night, we have a white powder that you spray into the nest. What you do is cover a torch with red celophane so you can see but it doesn’t bother them and while they are sleeping you spray it. You have to get the queen. We’ve had 4 so far we’ve had to get rid of.

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