Do not vacuum your dog

So Ocean is blowing her coat and we’re practically swimming in dog hair. Blowing their coat is an expression dog owners use to explain the weeks they live with constant hair thanks to their doggies. Apparently it happens twice a year. We thought this happened along with the seasons but, since we’re in the middle of winter, and Ocean is changing hers, that’s obviously not the case.

Dogs that have short hair shed all the time but in little bits. Dogs that have long hair, shed twice a year and shed enough to coat a herd of sheep. However, they only do so twice a year and that’s because if they did it more frequently, their owners would kick them out of the house for good.

While short-haired dogs have hair that’s like bristles, long-haired dogs have fine, fine hair that sticks together and creates little balls of ‘fluff’. It’s very soft and sticky and, trust me, you do not want to get it in your eye.

Ocean has been blowing her coat for roughly three weeks now. That means that for twenty one days we’ve been living surrounded by these little (or not so little) balls of fluff and we’ve had more than a few of them in our eyes, in our food, in our bed and in our clothes. They accumulate overnight and are so numerous that my husband finally had enough.

He bought an industrial-size wet-vac the size of my Jeep.

The power of this thing is such that you could use it to strip paint from walls. It sucks everything from dirt to water, to little children. The little weightless fluffs disappeared instantly….aaaand so did some earrings, my good socks, a good number of pens, change and basically anything that wasn’t nailed to the ground.

That’s when my hubby tried to vacuum the dog…Let’s just say it didn’t go well and leave it at that.

Did I mention we’re getting another akita?